Writing's Parking Lot

改了將近10個版本的proposal，依然有很多東西要再補述，有時候想想自己也真固執，有些句子似乎無法表達清楚該陳述的概念，確偏偏想把它留下來，只因為自以為那句寫得"優美"，可是science writing並不是說寫得像文學作品那麼朦朧美就是好(其實我也寫不出來滴~~)，每次打開檔案再重改的時候，刪修那些句子就像是拔河一樣，捨不得丟又不得留，於是教授建議我另開一個檔案叫做"Parking lot"，直譯就是"停車場"，如此一來，我可以把這些句子丟到這個檔案裡，等到有一天要用的時候再提取出來，這停車場可以無限期停放，還可以有資源回收的功能，被我暫時割愛的句子們應該不會有太大的怨言吧?

回頭想想，教授也是辛苦，看了我近10個版本的proposal，卻也得耐著性子確認我跟她想法同步 (on the same page)，雖然教授在會面時和藹可親，不過每次和她見面得前一晚，我都十分緊張，上次室友還說我前晚說了很多夢話，夢中也似乎是坐雲霄飛車的情景，記得以前實習的時候，每一份病歷重寫快要10遍，最怕碰到臨床老師一句話：回去唸書後再來見我！那時前一晚已經睡不好了，下一晚還是噩夢連連，那真是最難捱的一段時間，可是畢業後發現，感謝老師給我的磨練，如果他們不想花力氣教我的話，大可以直接告訴我答案然後再叫我照抄即可，但是因為讓我輾轉反側地思考，磨盡我的耐性心力，反而到這裡實習或作臨床推理時想的比較透徹清晰。現在寫proposal也是如此，將來寫dissertation更是如此，爸爸總是說 -- 就是因為不夠好所以要重來! 媽媽總是說 -- 朽木不可雕也所以千萬別當朽木學生呀! 結論就是努力再修改proposal，希望陣痛期快點過去，早點把最後的成品生出來吧!!

p.s. 明天系上的另一群PhD學生要Oral exam了，大家也都像我去年一樣的緊張，除了安慰她們外，唯一能做的就是祝福一切順利!! 這時不得不聽聽一首振奮人心的曲子......

This is the moment (From: Jekyll and Hyde )

This is the moment!
This is the day,
When I send all my doubts and demons
On their way!
Every endeavor,
I have made - ever -
Is coming into play,
Is here and now - today!

This is the moment,
This is the time,
When the momentum and the moment
Are in rhyme!

Give me this moment -
This precious chance -
I'll gather up my past
And make some sense at last!

This is the moment,
When all I've done -
All the dreaming,
Scheming and screaming,
Become one!

This is the day -
See it sparkle and shine,
When all I've lived for
Becomes mine!

For all these years,
I've faced the world alone,
And now the time has come
To prove to them
I've made it on my own!

This is the moment -
My final test -
Destiny beckoned,
I never reckoned,
Second Best!

I won't look down,
I must not fall!
This is the moment,
The sweetest moment of them all!

This is the moment!
Damn all the odds!
This day, or never,
I'll sit forever
With the gods!

When I look back,
I will always recall,
Moment for moment,
This was the moment,
The greatest moment
Of them all!